it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
