Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
