Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize