i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize