i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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