The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
