My first STD was from a foam party
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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