I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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