meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Drunk is not a location!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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