I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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