Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
