i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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