im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
