the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
