I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize