can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
