Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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