what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
