its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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