The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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