dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
