i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
