I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
