girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
