I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Houston, we have a blender
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize