I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
