he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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