I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
