U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
