R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
