Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I will be naked everywhere
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
