hell yes lets make some ravioli
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
