People in love make me want to vomit
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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