dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
