I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
