I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
