i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
