I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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