Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
