it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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