Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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