we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
