I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Vodka?
Forever.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
BRING THE BAGELS
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
