my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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