she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
