so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
