In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize