Jerry, you need to find god
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
