We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
