I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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