Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
