yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
