i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
