If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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