Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
