Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
