apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
