I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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