People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
