he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
