I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
