This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
