I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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