i just wanna soil my oats bro
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
