I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
