Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
