I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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