You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
