I can tuck mytits in my pants
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
