I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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