i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
