She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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