I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
