Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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