Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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