Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
