dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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