Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
