Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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