Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
