I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
