I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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