Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
