she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
